Gotta raise my own bar...

I have been in such a funk! Down--unmotivated--tired--no energy, etc. I have spent the last two days since Ray went hunting trying to make sense of what is going on. From a spiritual level, I know there is a purpose--from a personal level, I am exhausted from waiting for doctor appointments, and living with pain, and not getting a good night's sleep, and inability to do the things that make my spirit bright. I know some of it has to do with the anesthesia and some of it has to do with the fact that I have lost 15 pounds since August 13 and I have a history of exhaustion when I lose weight, but I want to share some thoughts:

Take really good care of yourself--exercise and eat right!!! You can never begin too soon and even when you do that, your body gets old--when it wants--not always a good time for it--just happens. And carrying too much weight for my entire life cannot have helped matters.

Find a passion--multiple passions--so when you can't do something any longer for whatever reason, you have other things that make your heart sing. Time is a blessing--don't waste it.

Do NOT take all your falls on your knees!!! They are not made to take it!!! And if you are like me and have always done all your floor cleaning on your knees--get yourself a pair of volleyball knee pads--better yet, a mop. I got really tired of looking at my dirty kitchen floor today and decided to clean it by hand as I always do because I don't own a mop. Well, you'd have laughed yourself silly to watch me. First--I couldn't get down on the floor. Then I could only get about 1/4 of the floor clean before I could not stand being down there any longer and I could hardly get up. So, I went and got the grandkids stool and sat on that. That worked long enough for me to get 1/2 done--the hips couldn't take any more of that. I did the next 1/4 standing and bending over, and my right knee kept popping back and forth. I've always enjoyed seeing my shiny floor when I finish--well, I cannot finish. Ray is going to have to move the table and do the last 1/4. I just wanted the floor clean when Becky & the kids come to MI.

I have decided that I cannot keep waiting for the rush of motivation to come back--I have to find it. So, when I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and couldn't sleep because my mind turned on, I finished watching the last half hour of the movie I had started last night. Then I spend 1 1/2 hours studying from the internet and small catechism and Bible. I finished my Halloween vest today and worked on the baby afghan I am knitting for my great niece and the fleece blanket I am making for her as well. I have prepped the fabric for the stole I am going to make for Becky. I am ready to cut out the fabric for Ray's hunting shirt. I have worked on putting away stuff in the office to get ready for Becky's visit. I've been making more baby hats for the charity project the basketmakers convention is working on. I feel so much better. I feel productive--and I guess that is a feeling I am used to. I don't like feeling helpless or useless.

Tomorrow I see Dr. Kia for my checkup. I know he is going to be pleased with what he sees. My naval is basically healed. I have no pain. The removal of the gall bladder and my diet are keeping my stomach issues at bay. I am trying to keep my head into this diet thing--easier said than done. Take care of yourselves!!! Life's too short!!!